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Racist Jokes

2 blonde dont make a right
A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
pregnant blonde
What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?
I hope it's not mine.
stuck in an elevator
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
black jews
How do you treat a black Jew?

Place them in the back of the oven.
blonde throws a grenade
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
lol5
What did God say when he made the first black person

Crap I burned one
black preacher
What do you call a black preacher?
Holy Shit
More racist jokes down here...
six pieces
The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
animal tracks
Three blondes are walking through a field when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looks down at the tracks and says:
"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde looks down and says:
"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They step aside as the third blonde goes over to the tracks. She looks down, then get run over by the train!
at the doctors office
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
history class kindergarden alabama
The teacher asks, if you can quote a famous quote and tell me who said it, they will get friday off and get a 3 day weekend. A little black kid stands up and says : I have a dream :.. Martin Luther King.: .Great you get friday off. Another little black kid stands up and says:can't we just get along:. Rodney King. Great good for you. But before he could sit down a little white kids stands up and says : shut the fuck up nigger: Mark Furman and I'm getting friday off too bitch
black roofers
How many nigges does it take to re roof a house? It depends on how things you slice them
niggas  hungry
How do you starve a nigga ?......hide his food stamps underneath his work boots
cross breeding
What do you get when you cross breed a nigger with a Samoan ...some more niggers
long education
What's long and hard on a nigger? The 3rd grade
cross breeding1
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a nigger? A mutual fucker that too lazy to steal.
kick a beener
What do you get when you kick a Mexican girl in the cunt? CuntSwella
brunnete
What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.
the blonde and the semi
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
moon
What do you call a black person on the moon?


The lunar eclipse.
kid in sand box
Why don't black kids play in the sand box ? Bc a cat might come up and think it's shit an try and cover the kid .
cotton
Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.
wwii
What's the worst thing about being a Black Jew in WWII.



They had to stand at the back of the oven.
alligator shoes
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.

“How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager.

“$200” – he replied.

“That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde.

The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irritated when the blonde persisted.

Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled.

“Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied.

After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her.

When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.

Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
drowning nigger
Q: What do you do when a nigger is drowning?
A: Throw in his family.
uno4
Q: Why can't mexicans play uno?
A: They steal all the green cards.
christmas3
Q: What did the black kid get for christmas?
A: Your bike
letter
What's hitlers favorite letter?



Not Z.
the smart blonde
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
exactly
What is the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps?




Michael Phelps can finish a race.
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