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Racist Jokes

yo momma joke
yo momma so fat when she walked in front of the tv i missed 3 seasons of the walking dead
alot of funny jokes
Q: How do you get a lawyer down from a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Why did the monkey cross the road?
A: So he could get spanked.

Two women, one from the north and one from the south, are seated next to one another on a plane.
"Where you flyin' to?" says the southern woman. The northern woman turns up her nose.
"Don't you know you should NEVER end a sentence with a preposition?" The southern woman thinks about this for a second.
"Where you flyin' to, bitch?"

Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

A new law recently passed in Arkansas.
When a couple is divorced, they can still legally be brother and sister.

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Yo' Mama is so fat, she sweats barbeque sauce.

A diner yelled out, "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?"
After taking a close look at the soup, the waiter said, "It looks like the breaststroke, sir."

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: It soots him.

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "We need the eggs."

If I want to hear from an a**hole, I'll fart!

Q: How do you make a baby drink?
A: Stick it in the blender.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.

A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous. But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin. Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her. "I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.
To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away. When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go. "Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.

Q: How did the blonde die raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

A tornado knocked down my trailer. Can I go home with you?

Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.

Even if you were a limited-edition convention exclusive figure numbered to 5,000, I'd still play with you.

I'm not drunk -- you intoxicate me.

Q: What's it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality.

Q: What do you call Vasoline in German?
A: Vienerschlide.

Q: Why is Tigger always so dirty?
A: He's always playing with Pooh.

There was a young country boy who was very bright. In fact he was bright enough to be accepted to Harvard.
One of his first assignments at Harvard was to write a paper on a famous person. He didn't know who he would write about so he decided to go to the library and do some research. But he didn't know where the library was. He saw a professor walking down the hall. He stopped the professor and said to him, "Do you know where the library is at?"
The professor looks at him strangely and says, "Young man, here at Harvard we never end a sentence in a preposistion."
The young man says, "Oh, excuse me. Do you know where the library is at, asshole?"

Q: What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across cement?
A: Sparky.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks her for her license.
"You cops should get it together," she said. "One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you."

Yo' Mama is so nasty, her flyswatter doubles as a spatula.

1. Inflatable dart board.
2. Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses.
3. A book on how to read.
4. Solar-powered flashlight.
5. Screen door on a submarine.

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.
The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together."
The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother."
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."
fathers day3
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Fathers Day!
jews in a car3
How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the fromt, 3 in the back, and 8 million in the ash tray.
how do chinese people name their babies
Throw thwm down the stairs to see what sound they make
why cant chinese people have white babies
Because two Wings don't make a white
More racist jokes down here...
donald trump
How many people can one man keep behind a wall?
The entire population of Mexico.
jewish pokemon trainer1
Q.What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer
What do you call I black guy in a river?

Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?

To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers
What is the similarity between a bike and a black person

They both have chains on them
black catholics
Why are there no Black catholics?
Because you can't teach a nigger to say "superior" after "mother"
long and hard
What's long and hard on a nigger?

Third grade!
too many brothers
What do you call a white man surrounded by 5 niggers?


What do you call a white man surrounded by 500 niggers?

the nickel
Whats the difference between a nickel and a black guy?

the nickel Worth something.
basketball game
A black guy and a white guy are playing a basketball game in jail. The white guy lost. How come?
The black guy had a home advantage.
racist nigger jokes
Q.What is the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man?

A.One was put down humanely
racist nigger jokes1
Q.How do you get a black man out of a tree?

A.You cut the rope
racist nigger jokes3
Q.How does a black man join the KKK?

A.First, he dies
racist nigger jokes4
Man 1 in bar: I saw a floating TV last night!
Man 2 in bar: That was probably a black man stealing the TV
jew joke13
What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew ?

A bullet comes out the chamber
One day I was driving home and I saw a black guy carrying a flatscreen and I thought "I wonder if thats mine?". And then I remembered... Mine is at home shining my shoes...
pokemon go racist joke
Q: Where's the best place to catch a gas type?
A: The gas chambers
hitler racist joke
Q: Why was Hitler the worst cook?
A: He burned the Franks
A boy named Steven was black, he was adopted!
Steven was Jewish, he was adopted
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