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Racist Jokes

race3
what do you call a bunch of Jews running around a track

an inferior race
whats difference between a condom and a welfarecheck
if you don't use condoms, u end up with a welfare check
how many jews does it take to run a website well
Trick Question: none

Jews can't run anything well.
jewbacca
What do u call a Hebrew Wookie?
Jewbacca
More racist jokes down here...
whats the difference between jews and santa claus
What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus?


Santa goes down the chimney.
close enough
SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.
spare the rod
I can't believe I made it anywhere creatively, though, because I was raised by two loving and supportive parents. Nothing squashes creativity more than unconditional love and support from a functional household. If you have kids, sh*t on their dreams a little bit.
opinions
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and everyone elses' stinks.
arkansas
Q: Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

A: Sooner or later, they find a potent cousin.
the mirror
Two blondes find a mirror on the sidewalk.
The first blonde picks it up, looks into it and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before."
The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it and says, "Duh! Of course you have -- that's me!"
musicians
Q; What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?
A: A drummer.
topless fat woman
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
why do so many vietnamese ladies own nail salons
Because they know how to nail one good with a happy ending.
where does the real amazing spiderman lurk
In the webs of dark alleyways near your local university.
why do they tell us , remember the alamo
Because Mexicans always find a way in.
lightening blonde
Why did the blonde like lightening? She thought someone was taking a picture of her.
the real reason for bbc
What's the real reason black guys have such big dicks?

How else were they supposed to fuck through jail bars?
damn niggers
What do you call a bunch of Black People swimming in the ocean?



Mass Genocide
misinformation
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
problem solving
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
fly or fall
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
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