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why do they tell us , remember the alamo
Because Mexicans always find a way in.
where does the real amazing spiderman lurk
In the webs of dark alleyways near your local university.
why do so many vietnamese ladies own nail salons
Because they know how to nail one good with a happy ending.
topless fat woman
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
musicians
Q; What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?
A: A drummer.
the mirror
Two blondes find a mirror on the sidewalk.
The first blonde picks it up, looks into it and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before."
The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it and says, "Duh! Of course you have -- that's me!"
arkansas
Q: Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

A: Sooner or later, they find a potent cousin.
opinions
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and everyone elses' stinks.
spare the rod
I can't believe I made it anywhere creatively, though, because I was raised by two loving and supportive parents. Nothing squashes creativity more than unconditional love and support from a functional household. If you have kids, sh*t on their dreams a little bit.
close enough
SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.
whats the difference between jews and santa claus
What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus?


Santa goes down the chimney.
jewbacca
What do u call a Hebrew Wookie?
Jewbacca
how many jews does it take to run a website well
Trick Question: none

Jews can't run anything well.
whats difference between a condom and a welfarecheck
if you don't use condoms, u end up with a welfare check
race3
what do you call a bunch of Jews running around a track

an inferior race
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