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just a bunch of racist jokes
I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Q: What's the problem with an Asian pet store?
A: There's always a kitchen in the back.

Q: Why don't Black people take free cruises?
A: Because they aren't falling for that one again.

A Jewish boy asks his father for $50. The father replies, "$40, what do you need $30 for?"

Tyrone's first day in the first grade he came home crying. When his mother asked why, he replied, "The teacher told us to say our ABC's and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to the letter E. Why is that? His mom said, "Because you black and they white." The next day Tyrone was crying again. "What's wrong today, Tyrone?" his mother asked. Tyrone said, "Teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get up to 10. Why is that?" The mom answered, "Because you black and they white." The third day he came home smiling. "What happened today, Tyrone?" asked his mom. "We went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all, because I'm black and they white, right mama?" She said, "No, Tyrone, it's because you 17 and they 6."

Q: Do you know who was the first black guy to admit he is the father?
A: Darth Vader.

A guy decides to do something nice for his girlfriend before they leave on vacation so he gets her name tattooed on his penis. He comes home and shows it to her. She looks at it and says, "That's great, sweetie, but what is 'Wy'?" He tells her to rub it and as she does she sees it actually reads "Wendy." When they arrive at Montego Bay, the couple are walking along a nude beach and the boyfriend notices a black guy with "Wy" on his penis. He asks the man if he also has a girlfriend named Wendy. The black guy laughs and says, "Nah, mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day.'"

A baby duck and a baby skunk finish crossing the freeway after just narrowly escaping death. Their families however were all killed by a big-rig. Upon reaching the other side, the little duck tells the baby skunk, "My parents both died and didn't tell me what I am." "Well," says the baby skunk, "You are yellow and you have a bill and webbed feet. You must be a duck." The duck thanked him. The baby skunk then tells the duck, "You know what, my parents didn't tell me what I am either." "Well," says the baby duck, "You're not quite black and you're not quite white and you smell bad. You must be Mexican."

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank?
A: Shoot the people pushing it.

How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican? Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges.

Q: Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?
A: Because two Wongs don't make a white.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? One, unless it's a black bulb, then he'll call for backup!

Q: What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?
A: Cracker with cheese.

What do a fat lady and concrete have in common? They both have been laid by Mexicans.

Did you hear about the Iranian who locked himself out of his car? It took three hours to get his family out of it.

How many mexicans does it take to build a roof? Juan.

What's the difference between a Jew and the San Antonio Spurs? The Spurs could beat the Heat.

Q: What's the difference between Jew Jesus and Black Jesus? A: Jew Jesus was born in a stable. Black Jesus was born into an unstable home.

A little Native American boy goes up to the Indian chief and asks, "Chief, how come we name everyone after the first thing they see?" The chief replies, "Well, I'm not sure, Two Dogs Fucking."

Have you heard about the two gay Irishmen? Mike Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmike.

Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Dallas hoe."

You know why we don't have Mexican Astronauts? It's because the countdown goes like this, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Launch! Lonch!?!? Vamos a comer..."

Don't be racist. Be like the multi-cultural panda bear: black, white, and Chinese.

An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill myself."
bunch of blonde jokes
A guy is telling a brunette some blonde jokes. Finally she interrupts him and says, "It’s really funny and everything, but I’m actually a blonde, I’ve been dyeing my hair for years."
"Oh", hesitates the man, "um, should I start over and talk very, very slowly?"

A blonde girl comes to the emergency room with burns on both ears and says, "Doctor, I was totally lost in thoughts and my phone rang and I picked up a hot iron instead."
The doctor wonders, "And what happened to the other ear?"
The blonde girl replies, "Well I had to call my boyfriend to take me to the hospital!"

One shark says to the other: "I ate a diver last week. I’m still sick from all the plastic."

The other shark waves a fin: "That’s nothing. I ate a blonde last week. She was such an airhead I still can't dive."

Why was the blonde running in circles around her bed?
She was trying to catch up on her sleep.

A blonde goes to court. Eventually the judge says: "I hereby declare the case closed. There is not enough evidence that you stole the 10000 US$."
The blonde is thrilled: "Gosh, so does that mean I can keep the money?"

A blonde girl says to her friend, "I think Bill is cheating on me. I'm no longer even sure the kids are mine."

Why do women have blue spots around their navels sometimes?
Because there are also blonde men.

How do you confuse a blonde?
That is impossible. They're already born that way.

Q: What is long and hard to a blonde?
A: Grade five.

Why did God create blondes?
So there’d be somebody to fetch beer.
Why did God create brunettes?
Because the blondes were failing at it miserably.

Why would it take too long to build a blonde snowman?
You would spend too much time hollowing out the head.

One blonde to the other: "Shall I tell my parents that I am adopted?"

Do you need to keep a blonde girl busy for days? Give her a paper with "please turn over" written on both sides.

Ear doctor to a blonde: "Could you please put a hand over your other ear? The sun is quite blinding."
mix of funniest jokes
Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Why does Beyoncé sing "to the left, to the left"? Because black people have no rights!

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

I bough my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Q: What is tall when it is young and short when it is old?
A: A candle.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
lots of knock knock jokes
-Knock knock.
-Who’s there?
-Yoda lady.
-Yoda lady who?
-Good job yodeling!

-Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
-No-one.
-No-one who?
-(Remain silent)

-Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To hunt somebody down.
-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-The chicken.

-Knock knock.
-Who’s there?
-Double.
-Double who?
-W!

-Knock knock.
-Who’s there?
-Déja.
-Déja who?
-Knock knock.

-Knock knock.
-Who’s there?
-The door.

-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-Beats.
-Beats who?
-Beats me.

-Knock knock.
-Who’s there?
-The interrupting cow.
-Interrupting cow wh-
-Moooooo!
yo mama so white jokes
Yo mama is so white that back in the first grade the kids wrote all over her and when the teacher tried to grade yo mama he went blind

Yo momma so white, she can stand in front of a television and get a tan.

yo mama so white she makes the holy ghost say "Dayum"

Yo mama is so white, she blinded the angels.

Yo Mama so white she doesn't have a shadow.

yo mama so white I had to where shades during sex.

Yo mama so white when god said let there be light he could not see her.

Yo mama so white she makes a marshmallow look tan.

Yo mama so white, Miley Cyrus said somebody sweep up the white trash

Yo mama so white and fat, that she is often mistaken for the iceberg that sunk the titanic.

Yo mama so white Xbox Live wont let her play BLACK ops

yo momma so white she gets a tan from watching the microwave
shower with crush
racist jokes - shower with crush
Finally gets into shower with crush naked
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holocaust
alot of blonde jokes
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor askes her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other."
"The bastard called again"

Three women are about to be executed for crimes.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around.
She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did.
The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.
" Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb.

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."
you dont look jewish
A woman on a train walked up to a man across the table. "Excuse me," she said, "but are you Jewish?"
"No," replied the man.
A few minutes later the woman returned. "Excuse me," she said again, "are you sure you’re not Jewish?"
"I’m sure," said the man.
But the woman was not convinced, and a few minutes later she approached him a third time. "Are you absolutely sure you’re not Jewish?" she asked.
"All right, all right," the man said. "You win. I’m Jewish."
"That’s funny," said the woman." You don’t look Jewish."
the top hat
Schwartz is sitting in his room, wearing only a top hat, when Steinberg strolls in.
"Why are you sitting here naked?"
"It’s all right," says Schwartz. "Nobody comes to visit."
"But why the hat?"
"Maybe somebody will come."
commited blond
A blonde bought some goldfish, but she did not know how to feed them. She called her brunette friend for help. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, 'Now, what do I give them to drink?'
fly or fall
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
problem solving
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
misinformation
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
damn niggers
What do you call a bunch of Black People swimming in the ocean?



Mass Genocide
the real reason for bbc
What's the real reason black guys have such big dicks?

How else were they supposed to fuck through jail bars?
lightening blonde
Why did the blonde like lightening? She thought someone was taking a picture of her.
why do they tell us , remember the alamo
Because Mexicans always find a way in.
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