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funny jokes

The best most funny jokes ever

the old chinese man and the nigger

An old Chinese man was standing at the edge of a lake and was skipping stones on it. Each time he threw a stone it would go, CHING-FLING-ZING. A nigger walked up to him and asked (AXED) him what he was doing. The old Chinese man said, "I skip stones on surface of lake because it tells me my ancestry...see?" So the Old Chinese man threw another stone towards the surface of the lake and it again went CHING-FLING-ZING. The old Chinese man said, my brother's name was CHING, my sister in law's name was FLING and my mother in law's name was ZING. The nigger said he wanted to try it and find out his ancestry, so the Chinese man gave him a stone and the nigger threw it at the lake. As his stone skipped on the surface it went CHIM-PAN-ZEE!

btw not a joke just a fact!

And you calling me colored??

When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

And you white people.
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey…

And you calling me colored??

nightmares

Why do black people only have nightmares?
- Because we killed the only one that had a dream.

nickel

Whats the diference between a nigga and a nickel ? The nickel is worth something

4th reich

Hitler comes back from the dead and gathers people to create a new 4th Reich. "This time, we're going to kill more Jews than ever. We're going to 20 million Jews and 6 Clowns!"

Someone in the crowd spoke up, "6 Clowns? Why 6 clowns?" Hitler looks at the audience and says "see, I told you no one cares about the Jews."

jew62

A Jew walks up to hitlers grave with a Christian.
The Jew then spits on hitlers grave
The Christian said "why did you spit on him?
The Jew said" he killed half of my religion"
The Christian then spits on the grave
The Jew said"why did you spit?"
The Christian said " because he didn't finish the job"

how blacks are created

What did god say when he created the first black man?
....
....
....
....
"Shit i burnt one"

jewish train

What do you call 1000 Jews on a train?

Anything you want, they are never coming back

beyonce

Why Beyonce sings "to the left, to the left"? Because niggers have no rights!

the roof

on the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

thejgrubiks

Q: what's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?

A:Boy Scouts come home from camp.

diarrhea

Q: What happened to the little black boy who had diarrhea for the first time?

A: He though he was melting.

jew joke

What do you call a Jewish person floating in the sky?


Smoke

pills

Why are pills white?
- Because they work.

santa3

Whats the difference between a Jew and Santa

Santa goes down the chimney

jupiter or jewpiter

We should change the name of Jupiter to Jewpiter because it's a gas planet

jewish girl1

Q: how do you pick up a Jewish girl
A: a dust pan

money and jews

Q:What's the difference between 6 million dollars and 6 million Jews?

A:I would care if I lost 6 million dollars

weed jokes

Q- what do you call a stoned Mexican
A- baked beans

daughters birthday

What did Adolf Hitler give his 6 year old daughter for her birthday?

-An easy bake oven

lil bit of good

why are black guys hands white?

theres a lil bit of good in everyone

flattest surface

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?

A white girl's ass.

hitler

Why did hitler kill himself?
Because he saw his gas bill

who cares

Q: What's the difference between Jews and Money

A: People care about money

jewice

Q: whats the difference between Iceman and a Jew

A: About 450°F

uno4

Q: Why can't mexicans play uno?
A: They steal all the green cards.

crying

Q: Why do black men cry after sex?

A: Because of the mace.

the broken phone

Question: Why isn't this phone working?

Answer: Because it's black.

fast niggas

Q: Why are the niggas so fast?
A: Cuz the slow ones are in prison

nigger and sperm

What does a nigger and sperm have in common?
Only about 1 out of two million actually work

mexican jesus

A new scientific study reveals that Jesus was actually a Mexican:
- he was born in a barn
- he walked around always wearing flip-flops
- if he ever did anything, it was a miracle

uno dos tres

Why don't mexicans cross the border in 3's?

Because it says no trespassing

wlol

What do u call a Mexican who lost his car





CARLOS

jews in a car

How do you get 100 Jews in a car 5 in the back 3 in the front and the rest in the ashtray.

How do you get them out? Tell them Hitlers driving.

biology test

I failed my Biology test last week. The question was:
"What can be commonly be found in cells?"
Apparently, "niggers" wasn't the right answer

black jew7

What do you call a black Jew....

A: A survivor

jew black joke

Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a Jew

A: A Black guy can Escape when Things Get Heated!

jew car

Q:What is similar between a Jew and a diesel car.
A:They both don't take gas well

the white mexican

A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"

very bonnie tyler

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”

firecracker

What do you call a white person playin with gasoline? A firecracker.

harry potter and a jew

Q: whats the difference between harry potter and a jew?

A: harry potter made it out of the chambers alive

black jesus

I think Jesus is black because he's our father and he hasn't come back

the attic

Q: What do u find in your Attic

A: Anne Frank

what did anne frank say to the german

Anne: I need some more concentration

German: I Did Nazi That Coming

mexicans 5

Q:What do u call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
A:Unemployed

sports car

Did you hear about the new Jewish sports car? Yeah it can stop on a dime and pick it up at the same time.

polar express1

Q: What is the black version of the Polar Express called?
A: The Underground Railroad

Why? Both are fake trains that lead to freedom in the north.

orange jewse

how do you fit 100 jews in a car





2 in the front seat 98 in the ashtray

my pc

I painted my PC black so it will run faster.

martin luther king jr

What would Martin Luther King be if he was white ALIVE

worst 3 years

What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.

black priest

Q. What do you call a black priest

A. Holy Shit

green pink and yellow

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three english words in a sentence. The three words are 'green,' 'pink,' and 'yellow.'" The Mexican man thinks , then says, "Hmmm, okay. The phone, it went green, green, green. I pink it up and sez yellow?"

tgif

A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" The Mexican orders a shot, takes it, and slams his glass down, yelling, "SPIT!" The cowboy looks over at him and notices the Mexican guy is still staring at him. The cowboy once again orders a shot, slams it down, and yells again "TGIF!" Once again, the Mexican orders a shot, slams it down after consuming it, and yells out, "SPIT!" This goes on for a while, and the bartender stands puzzled and annoyed. Finally, the bartender asks the cowboy, "Just checking, but do you know what TGIF means?" and the cowboy replies, "Hell ya I know what it means, 'Thank God It's Friday!'" The bartender asks the Mexican guy, "Okay, so what does 'SPIT' mean?" and the Mexican replies, "Stupid Pendejo It's Thursday!"

por quhhhhyyyyy

Black jokes and Mexican jokes are about the same. Once you heard Juan , you heard Jamal

why are women soldiers better than men?

because they can bleed for a week and not die

we have so many

An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.

butt

Why do black girls have bigger butts then white girls ? Cuz they hold the shit in.....

circumcise a hillbilly

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

redneck police cases

Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.

twinkie

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinkie

yo mama jokes1

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Upvote me and Ill put more jokes!

poor mexicans

How do you find the population of Mexico?
roll a quarter down the street
How do u find the richest person in Mexico?
see who got the quarter

camp

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout?


Boy Scouts come home from camp.

pizza oven

Q: Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?


A: One screams in the oven.

olimpic team

Q- how come Mexican doesn't have a olympic team
A- because every one that can run jump and swim is already across the border

friday

Whats a Jews favorite day of the week?

Fry-day

lol4

There is a black guy and a mexican in a car. Who is driving?


A cop

hitler gas bill

What did Hitler say when he saw his gas bill?



A holla-Cost

mexican house

A man is walking down the street in Mexico and he steps on a tissue, a Mexican jumps around a corner and yells "pls señor no shoes in the house"

(The tissue is his house)

what do you call a mexican without a car

What do you call a mexican without a car? Carlos

jew jokes

Why did hitler commit suicide?

He saw the gas bill

how to get jewish girls number

Q:How do you get jewish girls number?

A:Look under their arm

cross country

Whats a Mexicans favourite sport? Cross Country.

harry potter and the jew

What is the differance between a Jew and harry potter?


A:harry potter made it out of the chambers

nasa jokes

Most of you are well aware that NASA sent several chimps into orbit before they risked a human. But did you know that NASA actually sent a nigger into orbit with a chimpanzee once? Of course, NASA will deny it - and for good reason because here is what happened.

Once the capsule was in orbit, the nigger watched the chimp like a hawk to see what it would do. It wasn't long before the chimp reached up and flipped a toggle switch on the panel directly over its head. The nigger then did exactly the same thing with the toggle switch on the panel over his head.

A little later, the chimp reached forward and made a minor adjustment to one of the rotary knobs directly in front of it. Once again, the nigger saw what the chimp did and did exactly the same thing with the rotary knob in front of him.

After several orbits, the chimp reached into a zippered pocket on its left sleeve and removed a small piece of paper. The chimp looked at the paper, folded it carefully, and returned it to the pocket.

Once again, carefully emulating the chimp, the nigger unzipped the pocket on the left sleeve of his spacesuit to learn the contents of the paper. Much to the nigger's dismay, there was no paper in the pocket. The nigger then feverishly searched every pocket of his spacesuit looking for the paper, but to no avail. There was no paper.

When the chimp was occupied elsewhere, the nigger carefully reached over and removed the paper from the chimp's pocket. Turning away from the chimp so that the chimp couldn't see, the nigger unfolded the paper. Here is what it said:

"Feed the nigger at noon."

hitlers daughter

One day Hitler's daughter walked up to him. She was feeling kind of thirsty, So she asked Hitler if there was any Juice. Hitler says " Yea there's Juice" So his daughter checks the Refrigerator, She couldn't find any in there. Then she asked "Well Dad where's the Juice?" Then Hitler said " Damn I Forgot I left it in the oven!"

jews and basketball

Q: what do you call a Jew that loses at basketball

A: holocrossed

hitler to go

Q What would happen if Hitler owned KFC

A it would be named Kentucky Fried Jews

jews11

What is the diffrance between harry potter and jews?

Harry potter made it out if the chamber

why too black people

so why do 2 black people have a white child because
2 negative make one positive

thanks giving

Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving?



KFC isnt open on holidays.

in common

Q: What does a fat lip, black eye, and a job have in common?

A: You can't give a nigger any of them.

yo mama so fat3

yo mama so fat she doesn't need the internet

SHES ALREADY WORLD-WIDE

vending machine

What's the difference between a Jew and a vending machine?

Vending machines give you your change back.

uno

Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican? They take all the green cards.

full train

How do you get 6000 jews out of a train?

You stop at auswich.

white guy black room

How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they lynch the room for being black.

white girls

How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
None, white girls can’t screw.

getting numbers

How do you get a Jewish girls number?


A:look at her arm

jew and a boyscout

Q:How are jews and boy scouts different?
A: Boy scouts come home from camp








stingy jews

Why do Jews get double glazed Windows?

So their children can't hear the ice cream truck

poonslayer

whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews.

harry escaped the chambers.

the grand canyon

How was the Grand Canyon made?

A jew dropped penny in a small hole

jews30

How do you fit 30 jews in a car?
2 in the front,
2 in the back,
26 in the ashtray

jewsn chambers

Q:How does Jews escape gas chambers?
A:Trought the chimney into thin air.

jewish joke4

Q: How do you pick up a Jewish girl?
A: With an ash tray

the flying jew

Q: What do you call a flying Jew?

A: smoke

anne franks diary

Q - Why didn't Anne Frank finish her diary?
A - She needed more concentration
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