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mix of funniest jokes

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Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Why does Beyoncé sing "to the left, to the left"? Because black people have no rights!

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

I bough my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Q: What is tall when it is young and short when it is old?
A: A candle.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
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